http://www.latimes.com/news/science/sciencenow/la-sci-sn-elevated-blood-pressure-increasing-among-children-20130712,0,2460192.story#
When I spotted the title of this article, I felt quite surprised that not only teens but also children were being affected by deteriorating health despite their constant activity. The author conveyed the facts and statistics well, weaving the percentages into the actual commentary. The article was well articulated as well and does an exceptional job at separating the genders and displaying accurate information.
Moving on from the article's structure, I noticed that sodium intake was noted as a major contributor to the corrupted health issues, so it is quite disheartening to realize how much of a moderation individuals need to exercise within their dietary intake. It is noteworthy that the author also mentions a relationship between different factors contributing to high blood pressure, such as a large waistline and obesity. It is actually quite unsurprising now that blood pressure also has a direct correlation to obesity, which has plagued the human population vastly. What steps can be taken to prevent this now? Well first off all lay off the candy, and even salt, as mentioned in the article. It is upsetting to think of how close blood pressure is to obesity, yet the major event was the admittance of how much salt a child intakes by a survey for that particular situation. I am deeply appalled at our nation's deteriorating health, even more on prevention benefits. Towards the end and wrapping up the article, the author demonstrates clear understanding of the pressures and harsh reality children are living with today regarding health, which will unfortunately hold worse consequences for the future.
Your article was good overall but maybe you could enhance your writing by adding the statistics and a little more on how you feel on what actually was written in the article. It is a little bit of a summary but all in all it was a well written article. :)
ReplyDeleteThis was mostly summary but you did manage to include some of your own commentary here and there. Also, I completely agree with you that children should lay off the candy and the salt. With all the fast food and sweets that are popular these days, it is no surprise that the chances to get diabetes and high blood pressure are rising in today's children. It used to only be a problem for adults, but now children have to deal with it since they have horrible diets.
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