In
this article, the author does an excellent job incorporating anecdotal
references in the beginning to draw attention to the topic. Sleep is an
important aspect in any individual's life, and without adequate sleep he or she
suffers throughout the day. I was interested in this article purely due to my
interest in learning about sleeping patterns, and in the article, the author
states that genders prove to differentiate in the effects of sleeping patterns.
The evidence included that proves that girls seem to gain IQ points from added
sleep hours seems a little far-fetched to me simply because it has always been
said by any doctor or specialist that everyone benefits from sufficient sleep.
Although the article clarifies that this evidence vanishes by the time boys
turn seven, it still seems unbelievable that boys under seven have diminished
IQ. Besides this minor refute, I agree that a child's intellectual performance
directly relates to sleeping patterns, and I don't think any amount of evidence
could disprove this. Going back to the article, the way the author incorporates
the survey conducted into the body of the article keeps the article well
articulated. In the introduction, when the author states that sons do not have
added benefits from sleeping habits, she seems to be making an assertion that
is too strong compared to the rest of the article. The evidence presented does
not disprove claims that regular sleeping habits are beneficial to boys, so it
seems too forward when she claims this. Referring to the introduction and
conclusion, the author does an exceptional job when including the imagery of
children going to bed at bedtime and household depictions to paint the illusion
of the effect of sleeping patterns.
Hi Shivani!
ReplyDeleteI like that you jumped straight into your commentary, but I think you could have given a little bit of summary in the beginning, as we would normally on our essays.
I found your article pretty intriguing. We have always been told that a good night's sleep is necessary before a big test day in order to get better test scores. However, I never would have thought that it would affect only one of the genders.
I would disagree with your statement that the author is making an assertion too strong in the introduction. I believe the purpose of the author's assertion in the introduction was to transition from the "ancient wisdom" mentioned to the research studies.
I like your diction though you could add in some transitions or maybe even break your commentary into a couple paragraphs.
Overall, I enjoyed your selection of article and your commentary.
Nice topic! :) I really enjoyed your critical analysis that went deeper. I think you were really trying to use Darryl's instructions and focusing on the author's intentions and different stylistic devices. That being said, I also find it strange that only girls benefit from a regular sleeping pattern. However, at the same time, I don't want to discredit the author of the article or the many people who participated in the studies. I didn't really understand your last sentence and I think you could clarify that more.
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